Success on Your Own Terms – Redefining What Truly Matters

The Problem with ‘Success’ as We Know It

Success. It’s a word loaded with expectation.

From an early age, we are subtly (or not so subtly) taught that success looks like status, wealth or external validation. 

Promotions, big houses, busy schedules, the clothes, the car, the holidays—it’s all framed as evidence that we’re ‘winning’ at life.

But here’s the problem: many high-achievers, despite reaching these milestones, feel unfulfilled. They tick the boxes yet carry a quiet dissatisfaction. 

They wonder, Is this all there is? 

The truth is, when success is based on external definitions, it often leads to burnout, misalignment, or an ongoing chase for ‘more’—without ever feeling like enough.

What if we redefined success on our own terms?

What if success was defined as alignment, not achievement?

Instead of treating success as an endpoint, what if we saw it as a way of living in alignment with our values, desires and what genuinely matters?

Success is feeling at peace with your choices.
Success is working in a way that energises, rather than drains you.
Success is living in alignment with what you truly value rather than your assets 

This shift doesn’t mean throwing ambition out the window. It means recalibrating your goals so they serve you, rather than the expectations of others.

How to Redefine Success for Yourself

Here are three steps to help you start to create a more fulfilling definition of success:

1. Reconnect with what matters to you most.

Take a step back from society’s (or parents, teachers, peers etc) expectations. 

Ask yourself:

• What moments in my life have felt truly fulfilling?
• What values do I want to shape my decisions?
• If success had nothing to do with money or recognition, what would it look like for me?

2. Ditch the  ‘Shoulds’

‘I should’ is a sure sign that we are being driven by something that’s not our true self.  How much of your current definition of success is shaped by external pressures? The career path you 'should' take, the goals you 'should' have?

Challenge these assumptions. Are they truly yours, or have they been inherited?

3. Define your OWN version of success in a way that feels right

Craft a new definition of success based on your values, desires, and the impact you want to make. It could be:

• Having the freedom to design your own schedule.
• Making a meaningful difference through your work.
• Prioritising creativity, wellbeing, or deep relationships over relentless achievement.

Success is not one-size-fits-all. 

It’s personal. 

And when we define it for ourselves, we gain the clarity and confidence to live and lead in a way that feels truly fulfilling.

Reflection: What Does Success Mean to You?

• If you stripped away society’s expectations, how would you define your personal version of success?
• Where are you currently chasing a version of success that no longer serves you? (You might also be comparing yourself to someone else who has different values and desires!)
• What small shift could you make today to align your life with your true definition of success?

It’s time to re-write your script. 

Success should feel right—not just impressive.

PS - My measurement of success went from being the ambition to move up the career ladder to asking myself these questions:
Am I happy today?     Am I looking forward to tomorrow?     Am I full of hope for my future?

Life has its ups and downs but I usually answer YES to these questions and if something is off then I reflect and work with my coach to adjust it.