Do we have an abundance of judgement and a deficit of curiosity in our world right now?

If you, like me, are in the UK at the moment then our media communications are full of electioneering ‘discussion’ until we go to the polls on 4th July.  It makes me reflect on judgement versus curiosity.

Does anyone else think that we have an abundance of judgement but a deficit in curiosity?  

Differences in opinion get us all charged up and if we’re not careful we can all just end up shouting over each other in an effort to be heard advocating our position.  But if we could bring curiosity and an open mind, willingness to learn, desire for the truth to our discussions and debates it would have a whole different flavour.

When we create an environment of judgement, we form opinions and make decisions based on our preconceptions and biases. This can lead to several negative outcomes. Judgmental thinking often dismisses new ideas before they are fully explored, stifling innovation and inhibiting creativity. It can create a divisive atmosphere where individuals feel undervalued or criticised, reducing the willingness to collaborate and share ideas - everyone just gets defensive. These kinds of environments discourage risk-taking and experimentation, which are crucial for personal and professional development. Decisions based on incomplete information, assumptions or biases are often flawed, meaning that we have probably not reached the best decision.

On the other hand, bringing curiosity into our interactions allows people to seek out new information and understand different perspectives, fostering continuous learning and improvement. A curious mindset values diverse opinions and encourages open dialogue, strengthening relationships and collective problem-solving. Curiosity also opens the door to exploring new ideas without immediate dismissal, leading to more creative and effective solutions. By gathering more information and considering various viewpoints, curious individuals make more informed and balanced decisions. Curiosity promotes a culture of respect and inclusiveness, where individuals feel valued and motivated.

The shift from judgement to curiosity unlocks greater potential, fostering an environment of innovation, collaboration, and, through positive challenge, continuous improvement. This transformation enhances personal growth and drives collective success, making life more enriching and fulfilling. I would argue that, whilst we might end up disagreeing, it also brings us closer together as humans.  When we feel heard and understood we feel valued.  When we truly listen we understand our fellow humans more -  and we don’t have to agree with everything they say. 

If we’re in a state of curiosity, when we are around people who are very judgemental we can ask ourselves;  ‘where is that coming from?’; ‘what’s going on for them?’.  In my coaching work with clients we will usually spend time exploring the topic of our inner saboteurs (parts of ourselves that are not serving us very well at the moment).  One sabateur that we all have is our ‘inner judge’ - it’s the voice in us that beat us up when we make mistakes; it reminds you about everything that’s wrong with your life; warns you about all the risks etc. (My version of the ‘inner judge’ are Cinderella’s ugly sisters - they love to mock me!)  

So next time you come across someone who is judging you or people around you,  just consider how much more their ‘inner judge’ is judging them! They will be getting a harder time internally that anything they give to anyone else - imagine that!  What must it be like to live in that world in that inside that human head knowing that their ‘inner judge’ is giving them an even harder time that the other people they are judging.

When we bring more self-awareness to what’s going on with various parts of ourselves - we can make choices.  Do we choose to be led by the judge?  Or would we be better served by being led, for example, by curiosity?  Or joy?  Or some other more positive aspect of ourselves?  

As Rumi says “ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there” 

What I love about what Rumi says here is that beyond all our disagreements about the HOW we get there, we basically all want the same thing - to be safe, to be healthy, to be loved, to be valued.

Curiosity is one of the 7C’s of creative mindset in CoCreative Leadership and it's a really important tool for us to keep sharpening so that we don’t slip back into a world of assumption and judgement.  So here are 5 practical steps to move from being judgmental to being more curious:

Pause and Reflect: Before reacting or making a decision, take a moment to pause and reflect. Ask yourself if you have all the information and if your response is based on facts or assumptions.

Ask Open-Ended Questions: Replace judgmental statements with open-ended questions. For example instead of saying, "This won't work," ask, "How might this work?" or "What are the potential benefits?"

Give yourself a learning mindset: Approach every situation with the mindset of a learner. Be open to new information and perspectives, even if they challenge your existing beliefs.

Listen Actively: Practise active listening by fully focusing on the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. This demonstrates respect and a willingness to understand.

Seek Diverse Perspectives: Make a conscious effort to seek out and consider diverse viewpoints. Engage with colleagues from different backgrounds and disciplines to broaden your understanding and enrich your perspective.

Please get in touch and tell me about your curiosity driven conversations!